you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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