i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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