Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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