so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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