today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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