i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
