So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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