So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
my sisters under your porch take her home
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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