No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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