I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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