Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
