I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
