I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
