is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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