And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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