i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize