i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
