it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
