Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
