just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
