i think my tv is drunk
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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