After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
