just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
