we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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