Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
