Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
