So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came in the potted fern
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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