and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Farmville is her only friend.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
