i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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