Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
