Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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