I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
a bad idea.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
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I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
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Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.