You really coming over, don't trick.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
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he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
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You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon