ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.