So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
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Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
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you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"