I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.