ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes