Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.