careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS