This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
