I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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