He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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