my soul wont recognize me after tonight
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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