I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
