What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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