we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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