I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
