i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
