I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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