What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
