He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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