the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I understand Curling. That high.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
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he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
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But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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