Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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