You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize