So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
