I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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