brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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