Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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