Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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