I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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