Sponge bath it is.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
