do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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