i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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