New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
