I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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