I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
