i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
